Infinitum.

Lyrical Emotion.

I often find writing therapeutic—it allows me to illustrate my emotions as elegantly (or as vulgar) as I want at the time. Every thought, feeling, tear, and bit of rage I feel comes out of my pen and is then stuck into a piece of paper.

That being said, I recently realized that I seem to avoid reading poems that I wrote when I was in an extremely emotional state; although writing can bring back memories, these seem to take me back to the whole situation entirely. I am taken back to that dark night when I wrote this poem, enraged and holding back tears; when I sat on the bus in deep thought, wondering why my life was so shitty; or when i sat on that tall pillar, staring off into the distance and wondering, “What if?”

I find myself avoiding my emotions in order to protect myself from the feelings that I fear so much. I am subconsciously afraid of reliving the time when my ordinary life felt like it was an all-time low.

I guess I’m just scared of life after all.